Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
he shaved USA in his pubs
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
