She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Randomize
