Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize