dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
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dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
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