but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
