They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I did not marry a roomba.
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