We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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