Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I don't think brook has ever known best
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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