Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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