They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
