I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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