Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
