ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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