STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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