Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
