First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
