so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Everything about him screamed your future.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
