I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize