thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
