i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
