Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
