Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
so much tequila, so little girl.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Randomize
