Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
