summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
