God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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