If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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