its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
