Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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