she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
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