there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
