You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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