it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
