ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize