super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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