a queef is a wish your heart makes.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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