I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
