Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
