What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
