why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
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