and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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