Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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