She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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