well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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