My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
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