porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize