my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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