Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
