I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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