Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
