My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize