therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
