I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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