the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
