Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
