the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
