May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
