I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
