Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
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