but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
