i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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